5 things you need to know before you date a vegan
Can omnivores and vegans really make a relationship work? We’re not going to lie — it’s not going to be all fun and games.
You’ll be eating vegetables you never knew existed and hating every minute of it. You’ll be hiding away in restrooms to devour a mozzarella stick or two. Oh, the agony!
Things will certainly get tricky and super annoying, but it is possible thanks to Wholesome Culture’s hilariously comprehensive guide on how to date a vegan!
1. Eat any and all animal products before 6 a.m.
Vegans tend to get up pretty early. We’re almost all yogis, of course, and that requires us to get in a good stretch or two as soon as the sun is up!
If you want to indulge in any type of cuisine that isn’t vegan-friendly, make sure to do so extremely early in the morning — we recommend doing so in a restroom, as well, so that the chances of you getting caught are slim to none!
2. Lie to our faces
You’ll be tempted to impress us with your animal product-free stints. There will be times you do go vegan for a week or two — and we’ll be so proud of you for it!
But, if you do happen to crack and indulge in something that isn’t vegan, fret not. Us vegans are typically quite gullible, so throw on a smile and lie, lie, lie — right to our faces!
3. Always carry a pack of chewing gum or mints
That brings us to our next tip — do not get caught in a lie mid-makeout sesh because your breath reeks of surf and turf!
Instead, arm yourself with a constant supply of chewing gum or mints — we’ll never know the difference and love you even more for sticking to a vegan lifestyle!
4. Never give us flowers
It may seem like a nice gesture, but chances are, we’ll mistake them for our favorite takeaway dish and devour them instead.
The same for any dates you take us on — be sure to steer clear of greenhouses, parks, and any other area that is generally surrounded by foliage. That is an accidental buffet just waiting to happen!
5. Our final tip…just don’t do it
Dating a vegan has proven to cause serious consequences for the omnivorous significant other. Problems include but not limited to:
- A more open mindset
- A better-balanced diet
- A cruelty-free lifestyle that you can be proud of
- Intellectual conversations about animal agriculture and brainstorming ways to combat the negative effects of it
- And so much more!
Jokes aside, relationships are all about compromise. Your vegan partner isn’t likely to ask you to go full on animal product-free, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support them in other ways.
If you were to cut out meat every Monday, for example, it would certainly mean the world to your partner. These little nods of acknowledgment towards your vegan partner’s lifestyle can make all the difference!
Considering going vegan? Take our crazy easy quiz to find out if you’re ready!
Want to know more about living a plant-based lifestyle? Then check out the following blog posts!
- Prep these 5 easy vegan lunches for the best week ever
- The BEST vegan cauliflower chick’n wings
- How to cut meat and cheese cravings out of your life for good
- How to improve your health and well-being (with food!)
- Say goodbye to meat now with these 5 stupid easy tips
- The unbelievably easy guide to going vegan
And for more laughs, don’t miss:
- 9 memes that capture all the vegan misconceptions
- 7 hilarious memes every vegan can relate to
- 13 annoying things every vegan is tired of hearing